Monday, August 13, 2007

Eat at Spices

I understand if you've given up on Chinese food, having scavenged leftovers from twice-weekly catered lunches since you first started at whatever boring office job you've got going these days. In your book, Mr. Henry Hunan and all his culinary cousins can go to hell--though far be it for you to refuse a free meal, so you'll just go on reheating your kung pao chicken and pork fried rice, silently vowing to never again actually pay for this shit.

Well, it's time to discover the cure for the common Chinese place: Spices.

With two in the Inner Richmond and one in Oakland, you've got a few choices. I recommend Spices II on 6th Avenue at Clement, though epileptics and those easily distracted may want to avoid this location because of the neon! Chinese music videos! disco ball! twirly laser lights! hot, girlish waitresses!

The food here is great and the portions are huge--one entree, two starters for two people is more than enough--and cheap. Make sure to try the spicy cucumber, salt and pepper chicken, pork shoulder (ignore the squeamishness-inducing jiggling mass of fat in which the good stuff comes enveloped--the waitress will cut through all that for you, no prob), or anything labeled "Explosive Chili Pepper".

Sure, your waitress may look indifferent as she snaps her gum when she's taking your order or absentmindedly twirling her hair just before delivering your plates--but she's hot--and you may realize hours later that "Spices" could probably refer to both the start and finish of the digestive process--but the food tastes great and you've most likely got leftovers--and the front of the place vaguely resembles a Chinese-language cell phone store--I've got nothing on this one--but it's worth it.

Besides, there probably is no place like this where you're moving.

Spices and Spices II, mere blocks from each other, are both in the Inner Richmond while Spices III is in Oakland's Chinatown. Be sure to check out their odd--what, no Oakland location?--website before you go.

1 comment:

FJMIII said...

is there or is there not a location in Oakland [compare lead and footnote]? please advise. i need some burnin' asshole, STAT. tho the chinese, like my mother, seem to have trouble understanding "vegetarian," so i'll have to tread lightly.