Eat some fresh, locally harvested oysters

Given the proximity of Tomales Bay and/or the high concentration of lesbian in the city's water, oysters are popular here in San Francisco. You should eat some before you leave.

Oysters can be expensive, especially considering they're not exactly super substantive on a per-unit basis. Keeping this in mind, the following list of options is weighted towards the cheap-to-free end of the price range, allowing you to eat more oysters with the little money you have left over after paying the movers to ship all your worldly crap back to Minneapolis.

In San Francisco:

1. El Rio - Free oysters--fresh or barbecued--on Fridays starting at 5.30 until they're gone. (!!!--well, it is in Bernal Heights, and what better way to keep the neighborhood clientele happy than free oysters [well, maybe besides free Subaru and motorcycle valet parking or 2-for-1 plaid giveaways]?.) Don't forget to tip the oystress.

El Rio is a nice and divey place with pool, shuffleboard and a big back patio. It is also home to a Monday-Friday happy hour that has $2.50 beers and well drinks and that goes from 4 till 9.

2. Mecca - Half-price oysters (average price: $1.25) from 5 to 7 every day (including weekends) there's not a special event.

Mecca is a fancy place with expensive food and rich (or -looking--I never can tell) homos.

3. Hog Island Oyster Company - $1 oysters on Mondays and Thursdays, 5-7. (They also sell take-out oysters that you shuck at home.)

This bar in the Ferry Building gets crowded, so get there right at 5 or just cut in line and see what happens.

4. Woodhouse Fish Company - $1 oysters on Tuesdays.

Outside San Francisco:

Head up to Tomales Bay, where you can slurp from the source at a number of places, including Tomales Bay Oyster Company, Drakes Bay Oyster Farm, and Hog Island.


El Rio is located on Mission, south of Cesar Chavez. Mecca is on Market, east of Church. Hog Island is on the east side of the Ferry Building. Woodhouse is at the intersection of Market, 14th and Church. Tomales Bay is beautiful. Marshall and Pt. Reyes Station are two of the nearest towns to the oyster companies.

Party the Saturday before Folsom Street Fair at Magnitude

If you've nothing to do the Saturday night before Folsom Street Fair and come upon an extra $90 while cleaning out your sock drawer, grab a sock and stuff it in your mouth and head to Magnitude, happening at The Factory, on Harrison, between 1st and 2nd.

From the flyer and the official dress code, it appears that this might be another singularly San Francisco event.

"There is no official dress code. MAGNITUDE is a gay, leather dance event. Chaps, harnesses, boots and all other forms of leather, latex, rubber and uniforms are strongly encouraged. We recommend you leave your sneakers, cologne and micro-fibers at home. If you need something to wear, go to Mr. S Leather."

Magnitude starts at 10PM and continues on through 4AM. 21 and over. Please do report back here if you attend and live to tell the tale.

Get (at least) a drink at the Powerhouse

What better way to commemorate Anal Health & Pleasure Month than by heading over to the Powerhouse--the bar with a tastefully done pencil drawing of a fist up an ass hanging on the wall--for a drink? Not to be confused with the Power Exchange, the Powerhouse is a friendly little place in SOMA where you can pull up a stool, order a beer and snack on popcorn while watching vintage '70s porn on one of a few televisions dotted around the joint.

Not feeling the whole TV thing? Check out the pool table or pin ball machine. A smoker? Why stand out on the street when you can escape to the back patio and have a conversation in a confined space with an aggressively sexual fellow patron? Gotta take a leak? Invite the guy sitting on the stool next to you; the cant of the mirror in the bathroom is not an accident.

Sounds like just the kind of place you'd want to show off to Mom when she's in town to help you pack up your things.

On second thought, this might be more of a place for Daddy.


The Powerhouse is located on Folsom at Dore St. (between 9th and 10th). The drinks are made like the patrons: strong. An array of interesting theme nights awaits: "Dirty Dicks" (Monday), "Ink & Metal" (Tuesday), "Macho" (Wednesday), Underwear Night (Thursday), Pec Night (Friday), and Boot Lickin' (Saturday).

Get drinks at The Eagle

A coworker friend of mine once commented that every bar he'd ever seen called The Eagle turned out to be a gay bar. (That this comment was prompted by the address of the website for a Phoenix plaintiff's attorney that we were about to join in a conference call is another story.) Though lacking in hard, penetrative empirical evidence, a quick web search leads me to believe that he may have had his finger right on the g-spot of a trend in naming.

And guess what? San Francisco has its very own Eagle, perched conveniently in SOMA and waiting for you. With a pool table, really cool biker decor inside and a huge outdoor area sporting a 49er/Gold Rush theme reminiscent of Knott's Berry Farm, as well as an impressive collection of men's underwear tacked to the ceiling, you owe it to yourself to make it there before you leave.


The Eagle is located on 12th at Harrison. Thursday nights boast live music with a cheap cover and Sunday afternoons feature the $10 all-you-can-drink (of cheap beer, for three hours) Beer Bust, where you can find tons of these:


a few of these:


and hardly any of these:

Go to Trannyshack

"You live in San Francisco and you haven't been to a drag show?!?! For shame!"

If you're seeking to avoid admonishments like this, then take action tonight by heading to Trannyshack--the weekly drag show with its own Wikipedia entry--at The Stud. It's been happening every Tuesday night for about the last 10 years.

A few hints if this is your first time going:

1. Don't wear too many clothes. It's usually pretty crowded and so can get hot as fuck. No need to rile up a bunch of sweating homos by dragging your bulky North Face down jacket across the tops of their heads while squeezing your way to the front.

2. Drink before you come. However suggestive that recommendation may sound, it actually pertains to the crowded conditions referenced in #1. Unless you like trying out different facial expressions--sexy, desperate, pissed-off--just to get a bartender to notice you over the 54 other patrons with similarly receding buzzes, pound a few beers on the way. Or, if your personal views do not condone consumption while on public property, order drinks two at a time once you get to the bar.

3. Don't stand too close to the stage. Things sometimes can get messy.


The Stud is a bar at 9th and Harrison that homosexuals are known to frequent but whose clientele is not exclusively such. Cover for Trannyshack is $8. A tip for the large drag queen collecting entry fees, though plainly "encouraged", is not required. (Did I mention that one Tuesday I saw Bjork exit the bar and chase a passing garbage truck around the corner onto 9th? This was the week that Matthew Barney's exhibition opened at SFMOMA. Bjork arrived at Trannyshack with a small marching band. I have no idea about the garbage truck.)