Play gay soccer (or at least buy a gay-soccer calendar)

San Francisco is both an athletic city and a rather gay one. Those qualities--plus a bridge and some hills--combine to make it unique in the minds of many. But how is one to combine the "athletic" and the "gay" outside of a musty gym locker room and attached group showers?

One answer: the San Francisco Spikes.



One of the oldest gay soccer teams in the United States, the Spikes were one of five teams to compete in the first Gay Games, held in San Francisco in 1984. These days, the club is composed of two teams: the "Marin Team," which is the more competitive of the two and plays on Saturdays in the Marin Soccer League, and the "San Francisco Team," which is more recreational and competes on Sundays in the San Francisco Soccer Football League.

Both teams' seasons run approximately from March to September of each year, and combined practices happen once a week--outdoors during the season and indoors in the off-season (on the fields at Mission High School and in the gym at the Eureka Valley Recreation Center, respectively).



For info on how to join the team and how much it costs, game and tournament (including international tourneys) schedules, and other pertinent info, go to the About Us section on their website.

But for all you armchair enthusiasts out there with a space on your wall and a hand in your pants, you could always just spend 20 bucks and buy the 2009 Men of the San Francisco Spikes Calendar.





(10% of all calendar sales go to the soccer-related charity Little Feet, with the rest going to help with team expenses.)


Mission High School is at 18th and Dolores. The Eureka Valley Recreation Center is at 19th and Collingwood. Photos of the team courtesy of the Spikes' website. Hot calendar photos courtesy of photographer Blake Tucker at BLAKETUCKER.COM.

Party the Saturday before Folsom Street Fair at Magnitude

If you've nothing to do the Saturday night before Folsom Street Fair and come upon an extra $90 while cleaning out your sock drawer, grab a sock and stuff it in your mouth and head to Magnitude, happening at The Factory, on Harrison, between 1st and 2nd.

From the flyer and the official dress code, it appears that this might be another singularly San Francisco event.

"There is no official dress code. MAGNITUDE is a gay, leather dance event. Chaps, harnesses, boots and all other forms of leather, latex, rubber and uniforms are strongly encouraged. We recommend you leave your sneakers, cologne and micro-fibers at home. If you need something to wear, go to Mr. S Leather."

Magnitude starts at 10PM and continues on through 4AM. 21 and over. Please do report back here if you attend and live to tell the tale.

Attend the Folsom Street Fair

Remember when your mother had to actually tell you not to talk to any stranger leading a naked man in a black leather mask around on a leash?

Or that time you were grounded for a whole week after your father found Billy, the deaf-mute kid who lived next door, handcuffed to a heating pipe in your basement one too many times?

And how about the parent-teacher conference where Mrs. Ashley opined that your enthusiasm for spanking and other forms of corporal punishment just might not be a good fit with the Montessori model?

Well, this Sunday, September 30th, is your day, as "the world's largest leather event" comes to town.


Join the 400,000 (!) or so other people on Folsom, between 7th and 12th and, if you're lucky, you just might happen upon a leather-booted and corset-clad Mrs. Ashley applying the riding crop with gusto to the exposed bottom of a bound-and-gagged Mr. Ashley.


The Folsom Street Fair takes place every year on the last Sunday in September. This year the whole to-do starts at 11AM and ends at 6PM. Admission is free, with a suggested donation of $5. All proceeds from gate donations and drink sales will go to benefit local charities. (The deal for charity aside, it might be best to pick up a tall boy [of Tecate, for instance] or two and imbibe on your way there, taking care, of course, to properly recycle your adult beverage container.) In an interesting partnership, the San Francisco Bike Coalition will be providing free bicycle parking and, for a $5 charge, bag and coat check, with proceeds going to the Coalition and the aforementioned charities. (Information for motorcycle parking and helmet check can be found on the bicycle parking page above.)

Get (at least) a drink at the Powerhouse

What better way to commemorate Anal Health & Pleasure Month than by heading over to the Powerhouse--the bar with a tastefully done pencil drawing of a fist up an ass hanging on the wall--for a drink? Not to be confused with the Power Exchange, the Powerhouse is a friendly little place in SOMA where you can pull up a stool, order a beer and snack on popcorn while watching vintage '70s porn on one of a few televisions dotted around the joint.

Not feeling the whole TV thing? Check out the pool table or pin ball machine. A smoker? Why stand out on the street when you can escape to the back patio and have a conversation in a confined space with an aggressively sexual fellow patron? Gotta take a leak? Invite the guy sitting on the stool next to you; the cant of the mirror in the bathroom is not an accident.

Sounds like just the kind of place you'd want to show off to Mom when she's in town to help you pack up your things.

On second thought, this might be more of a place for Daddy.


The Powerhouse is located on Folsom at Dore St. (between 9th and 10th). The drinks are made like the patrons: strong. An array of interesting theme nights awaits: "Dirty Dicks" (Monday), "Ink & Metal" (Tuesday), "Macho" (Wednesday), Underwear Night (Thursday), Pec Night (Friday), and Boot Lickin' (Saturday).

Get drinks at The Eagle

A coworker friend of mine once commented that every bar he'd ever seen called The Eagle turned out to be a gay bar. (That this comment was prompted by the address of the website for a Phoenix plaintiff's attorney that we were about to join in a conference call is another story.) Though lacking in hard, penetrative empirical evidence, a quick web search leads me to believe that he may have had his finger right on the g-spot of a trend in naming.

And guess what? San Francisco has its very own Eagle, perched conveniently in SOMA and waiting for you. With a pool table, really cool biker decor inside and a huge outdoor area sporting a 49er/Gold Rush theme reminiscent of Knott's Berry Farm, as well as an impressive collection of men's underwear tacked to the ceiling, you owe it to yourself to make it there before you leave.


The Eagle is located on 12th at Harrison. Thursday nights boast live music with a cheap cover and Sunday afternoons feature the $10 all-you-can-drink (of cheap beer, for three hours) Beer Bust, where you can find tons of these:


a few of these:


and hardly any of these:

Go to Trannyshack

"You live in San Francisco and you haven't been to a drag show?!?! For shame!"

If you're seeking to avoid admonishments like this, then take action tonight by heading to Trannyshack--the weekly drag show with its own Wikipedia entry--at The Stud. It's been happening every Tuesday night for about the last 10 years.

A few hints if this is your first time going:

1. Don't wear too many clothes. It's usually pretty crowded and so can get hot as fuck. No need to rile up a bunch of sweating homos by dragging your bulky North Face down jacket across the tops of their heads while squeezing your way to the front.

2. Drink before you come. However suggestive that recommendation may sound, it actually pertains to the crowded conditions referenced in #1. Unless you like trying out different facial expressions--sexy, desperate, pissed-off--just to get a bartender to notice you over the 54 other patrons with similarly receding buzzes, pound a few beers on the way. Or, if your personal views do not condone consumption while on public property, order drinks two at a time once you get to the bar.

3. Don't stand too close to the stage. Things sometimes can get messy.


The Stud is a bar at 9th and Harrison that homosexuals are known to frequent but whose clientele is not exclusively such. Cover for Trannyshack is $8. A tip for the large drag queen collecting entry fees, though plainly "encouraged", is not required. (Did I mention that one Tuesday I saw Bjork exit the bar and chase a passing garbage truck around the corner onto 9th? This was the week that Matthew Barney's exhibition opened at SFMOMA. Bjork arrived at Trannyshack with a small marching band. I have no idea about the garbage truck.)